This must be a Phase

                                                     This must be a Phase.

Grieving must be a succession of phases?  Going from one extreme to the other emotionally.

My day today was spent seeing my dear wife go through several years worth of clothes that had belonged to my dear mother. She had not only kept every purse but every pair of pantyhose she had owned.  My mind cannot comprehend it, and I want to cry because not only had she kept it but also had moved from the old country with it to Canada.  Can I give a word of advice to parents today?  Get rid of your stuff before your children must. 

I am dealing with mental health issues in my own life and that is the last thing I want to face right now.

Some of the things my parents had were old expresso makers.  It shows that they liked their coffee, but they did not involve me with their passion for coffee. One other advice I would like to give to parents today.  Share your hobbies with your children and involve them in your life.  Don’t push them off to another social level of immaturity.

My lesson is to learn from all this.  What do I learn from this?  It is also that as a child I should have helped my parents age more gracefully and be involved in their lives as well.

The blame didn’t just fall on them but on me.  I should have been more present in their lives as well.  My parents had both been children during the war and because of the scarcity of stuff, her stuff became too important to part with it.  I remember my mother sharing many war stories that were not good like standing in line with meal tickets for a portion of stringy rutabaga.

It is a very emotional time for me as I see all these things happen around me.  Deep down I wish I didn’t have to go through it.  With the help of God we will persevere.